Counseling Helps

2019

This is the brunette, transgender wife.

Recently, in conversation with one of our kids, I asked them what advice they would give others in their position, as older teens or young adults whose parent was coming out. The answer wasn't what I thought I'd hear.

"Counseling really helped," was the answer, from both of them, in separate conversations.

My wife and I had been participating in counseling. We didn't have issues; our marriage is great, actually. But we wanted to make sure we were keeping good communication. It seemed wise in light of the changes we were going through.

Along the way, the counselor indicated that she'd be willing to meet with our kids if they so desired. So we found a day that they were free, we were free, and the counselor had an opening.

This gave our kids some things of value so high that it cannot be calculated. They had a chance to speak their mind, in a neutral and non-confrontational setting. It also gave them a chance to ask questions they might not normally have asked. It also gave them the opportunity to hear someone with knowledge on the topic tell them that there is absolutely nothing wrong with what was going on and that how they felt was normal, understandable, and good.

If you're in my situation...realizing you're transgender, scared, worried about your family, and all the other things that come with it, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

If you're a young adult or older teen whose parent, sibling, or close friend is working out their gender, find someone to talk to. Someone who knows LGBT issues because they won't simply tell you that your family member or friend is a horrible person for what they're doing. Find someone who actually understands what is going on, and who can help you with working through your feelings and thoughts.

Get counseling. Not just for you, but for your spouse, your kids, whoever. Do it. Find someone who understands LGBT and family issues, and sit down and talk, as many times as needed.

Don't underestimate the impact it can have.