California Girly Girl

2017

As our journey of exploration continued, I was sent by the Army Reserve for a 15-day course in California. I had decided that while I was there, with California having the reputation of being much more forgiving than my home state, I was going to step out a bit, and try some new things, and see what felt like me, and what didn’t.

A few days after arriving, I had acquired some feminine shorts that were shorter than men's shorts typically were, and more importantly, some cute women’s sandals that not only fit but looked great and were very comfortable. My toenails were painted with a polish that was pretty discreet. You’d have to be paying attention to see it, but it was there. My wife had helped me pick out the shade before I left, so I could still paint my toes, but not be crazy obvious.  

A Razor Is My Friend

I had been shaving my legs for a few years at this point, but shortly after arriving, I felt a strong urge to shave more. That evening, late, I went into the shower room. Unlike many men’s barracks, this shower area had individual areas, with glass doors across them. So, you could still be seen fairly well, but you at least had the illusion of privacy. There, I got my body wet, began to lather up shaving cream, and got busy. About an hour and a half later, I had shaved my legs, my chest, stomach, and armpits. Yes, it really did take me about an hour and a half. I had no idea what I was doing, and so I proceeded cautiously. Shaving your body is nothing like shaving your face. I remember feeling amazing, standing there, the water cascading over me when I was done. I shaved my body a few more times, while I was there, to remain generally smooth.

I spent a few evenings around the barracks wearing shorts in the evening, but oddly, either no one noticed my shaved legs, or more likely, they simply didn’t say anything in front of me. Either way, it wasn’t the issue I thought it might be. That gave me a little more confidence that this might be okay, after all.

Tapping into that new confidence, I spent free time in the evenings going around the malls, trying on clothing, with the help of clerks that didn’t even blink. I kept myself shaved, which was a first, and I kept my toes painted, also a first, and I wore feminine shorts, also a first. Honestly? It resonated. I never felt so much like "me".

I adapted a pair of turquoise shorts I had brought with me. My wife and I had purchased them because they were men’s shorts, but of a sort that was androgynous. They just as easily could have been women’s shorts. The legs had a folded up section at the hem, about an inch turned up. I folded the legs up another turn, and they were then the same length as the women’s white shorts I had bought. So now I had two pairs of shorts to wear.

Please. Anything But the Combat Boots.

I had only combat boots, the women’s sandals, a pair of running shoes, and flip-flops. I couldn’t wear the women’s sandals in the barracks, as that was too obvious. At first, I was only wearing running shoes, but I quickly decided to try the flip-flops. Despite the slightly-colored painted toes, no one seemed to notice a thing. As I said earlier, the polish was discreet. There were no reactions of the sort that people give when they see something odd. That gave me even more confidence, and it worked well with the shorts.

The big test came when I went to dinner a few nights before I was due to come home. I wore the white shorts and the most feminine t-shirt I had, and I slipped on the sandals, the first time I wore them on the base. I left the barracks and walked to my car. On the way to the car, 5 Soldiers, three men, and two women walked past me.  It was early evening, and still, quite daylight out. All three men never noticed a thing. Both women, walking toward me, started looking me over. They started at my face, then glanced down my body. When they got to my legs and feet, both of them quickly looked back at my face, and both of them got really odd expressions on their faces. Meanwhile, I was waiting for some sort of outburst, but none came.

I kept walking. Once in my car, I drove off the base, and went to a local thrift store to check out skirts, just to spend some time, as it really wasn’t time to eat yet.

I strode into the store, and the security guard looked at me like I was a leper. I immediately considered leaving but told myself that I’d come this far, and I didn’t want to turn back. I knew if I did, I’d never get another chance. I put on a brave face and continued on. I spent about 20 minutes there, looking at various clothing. The store had a lot of customers, but no one really seemed to notice anything odd about me, which I considered to be good.

One Awesome Mom

I decided to go ahead and head out and started toward the front of the store. As I came around a rack, a girl about 6 years old was standing there. I saw her eyes glancing down at my feet, with the painted nails and sandals, and travel up my shaved legs to my shorts, top, and then my face. When she registered my male facial features and hair, she looked shocked and quickly whispered something to her mother.

As I went past, I heard the mother tell her “It’s okay. He’s just dressing how he feels comfortable, and that’s good”. I admit I walked out of that store with a smile on my face!

I drove the short distance to the place where I intended to have dinner. It was a salad and pasta buffet called Sweet Tomatoes, and I really enjoyed their food. So that was the destination.  I walked in, and ate, and enjoyed myself, and not a soul even gave me an odd look. It was glorious!

I went back to the base, parked, and went to the barracks. I passed several people on the walk to the barracks, and even in the barracks, but it was dark. That was the second to last night I was in California.

Once home, the sandals were put away, and for the most part, so were the shorts. Yet, that experience of stepping out, of taking a chance and exploring, was invaluable.