1985
Ah...High School
Ah...High School
I was a high school junior, and I had a girlfriend, despite which I felt as if things were weird. I had a lot of instances of feeling like I was out of place, etc. The thing I was experiencing where I strongly disliked going into bathrooms was really starting to get to me, as were some other things that had happened over the years.
At times, I felt uncomfortable. At times, I felt fine. At times, I was so scared I was shaking. At times, I felt like something was wrong. At times, I felt distressed.
I started to think maybe it would be a good idea to talk with someone. But who in the world should I talk to? My Boy Scout leader? No way. He was creepy. My parents? Not in a million years. My Pastor? Yeah. Everyone wants to tell their pastor, as a teen, that they feel like something is wrong in their mind. It’s all physical, right? These are physical things I’m feeling. So I decided to talk to our family doctor. He was a D.O., and they’re trained in lots of extra things, compared to an M.D. He was a very good doctor, and thus had my respect. He’d know what was up.
You're Trans? Just Ignore It
So the next time I visited the doctor when he asked how I was doing, I told him the truth. I didn't tell him I was transgender. I'd never even heard the term, and I honestly didn't know what was wrong with me, but something clearly was. How am I, doc? Not good. I was not good. He sat down and listened quietly as I talked, and when I was done, he stood, put his hand on my shoulder, and told me that I was fine. Don’t worry about it, there’s nothing wrong, forget it. There’s nothing I need to be concerned about.
“But what about how I feel when…”
He cut me off. “Ignore it”, he said. Just ignore it. Bonus: He wasn't going to tell my parents.
So I ignored it.
I am trans. I could have written thus.
ReplyDeleteI have found that many trans people have similar experiences.
ReplyDeleteI want to tell you this in the 8Th grade 1976-1977 that was my banner year I feel in love with 3 people my Male History Teacher, a Girl and a guy. Of course I could not tell my teacher that, I did make a pass at the Girl but i chose the wrong spot,it was in the lunchroom.and she slapped me Hard in the Face infront of everyone.I turned red and ran out of the lunchroom later that day I had my First male on male kiss the guy i had a crush/love on had the same with me. He grabbed my face kissed me and I grabbed him and kissed him back longer than he kissed me. and that is where it all ended and I retreated back into my shell and stayed there.
ReplyDelete