Trans in the Gas Station

2017

When you're doing something new, and you're not super confident, and you feel awkward and unsure, seeing someone else who is doing that same thing with confidence can be a real boost to your courage. Do you know what I mean?

I had only just started thinking about transition and hadn't made up my mind yet. I was full of self-doubt, nervousness, and often, outright fear at the idea. Could I do it? Really do it, and feel good about myself?  No one really makes a go of this in real life, right? People are super really crazily obvious when they transition, and look ridiculous. Right? 

Well, that's what I thought, anyway. Bring fair, the only real public face of being transgender I could think of was Ms. Jenner. I didn't really want to be her. 

My mind went back and forth. I didn't know what to do, to be honest. 

But one day I was at work, driving around the city of Dayton, OH. I was downtown, at the University of Dayton campus, and stopped in at a local Speedway gas station to get something to drink. 

I am one to analyze women's clothing. I form an opinion on outfits. Did she put together something cohesive? Does it accentuate her best features? Would that look good on me? Why or why not?

I was standing at the soda fountain, filling a cup with ice-cold Diet Coke. I saw a woman move to the coffee counter and begin to draw a cup of coffee from a carafe. She was wearing a blouse, flats, and a knee-length denim skirt. It looked good on her, and it worked very well with her hair and body shape. She had a great smile too. 

She turned to the side, and I was suddenly shocked to detect the faint bulge of a penis under her skirt fabric as she moved! She was pretty, had great hair, built, and well dressed, and I would have never guessed she was transgender. I was literally amazed.

I thought about her the rest of the day, and off and on for at least a week. She did it. She transitioned, and was kicking butt at it. She really was. She was out in public, confident, and living her life. I can't tell you what a shot in the arm that was. 

And now, here I am.