Baptism

Baptism

1983

I'm the brunette, transgender wife.

Growing up, I attended a conservative Christian church in Ohio. As a teen, life was complicated enough, but for me, being the teen I was, things were often even more complicated, but I had no idea why at the time. They just were.

There came a time in my life where I wanted to be baptized. It was, for lack of a better term, treated like a rite of passage for people in my church group. If you believed in Jesus, then you were baptized, to publicly demonstrate this belief. So I asked to be baptized. That’s what people did.

Churches tend to group baptisms together, for various reasons. Accordingly, one Sunday, at the end of the church service, there were several people grouped into the men’s restroom near the sanctuary (church word for an auditorium), changing out of church clothes into the clothing they intended to wear for baptism.

The church group I was part of practiced what’s called immersion baptism, which simply means you’re going to get dunked underwater, fully clothed. So, you want to wear clothing that you can change back out of quickly, and that won’t leave you feeling embarrassed when people see you dripping wet. In other words, no white clothing.

In this restroom were my youth pastor, a very nice person named Jon, several other adult men, my brother, and me. All changing clothes. I was self-conscious about myself, and for sure didn’t want to get undressed in a room with a bunch of guys, and I also didn’t want to be in a room with a bunch of naked guys. But, it had to be done. I remember at one point, I was bent over taking off my socks, and as I started to rise back up, I discovered a man right in front of me, also bent over, facing away from me, his penis and balls hanging between his legs, right in front of my face. I was shocked and very embarrassed.

I didn't know what to do. I froze.  

One at a time, we all went through a door and took our turn being baptized.

I was baptized. I don’t remember a thing about it, at all. I only remember that man’s genitals being thrust right in front of my face. It was such a very awkward situation.