A List of All the Reasons Transgender People Shouldn't Have Equal Rights:
Saturday, June 25, 2022
Pronoun Changes
2019
I started out life with male pronouns. but one day, my wife and I put 2 and 2 and 3 and 1 and 5 and 4 and 3 together and figured out that I am transgender. That'll wreck your pronouns in a hurry.
I wanted to avoid the whole hog rush into changing genders that so many people experience, and make sure that each step made sense for us. Part of that was trying to figure out what pronouns to use. I wanted to get it right. So, I initially decided to think on it, not make a quick change, and continued using male pronouns.
As it became increasingly clear that I was not a cisgender male, I switched to using they/them/their as my pronouns. This caused some issues for my wife because without intending to, she would switch back and forth from he/him/his to they/them/their in conversations. I felt bad for her because she was trying hard, but errors were so easy to make.
This continued while I explored whether a more accurate situation for me was non-binary, or female. Honestly, non-binary would likely have been more simple for me, since I had a male body. As time continued, I stayed in that niche for several months but was increasingly thinking I was actually female. One day, in conversation, I mentioned something about being non-binary and my wife laughed and said "Why don't you just admit it?"
"Admit what?" I asked.
"Please," she retorted. "You're more girly girl than I am!"
She was right. I am.
Later that same day, talking with our therapist, I told her that I wasn't non-binary, but actually female. She laughed, and said, "I was wondering when you'd decide that. It's pretty obvious"
We used they/them/their for another few weeks but then began phasing in she/her/hers. This accelerated to the point where we began using it more publicly when we filed for my name change.
Now my wife is comfortable referring to me as she/her, and I have coworkers who have never known me as anything other than she. People still slip sometimes, but that's normal, and they're getting better all the time.
I took my time, figured out what felt right, and then went for it. That was the right approach, for me.
I started out life with male pronouns. but one day, my wife and I put 2 and 2 and 3 and 1 and 5 and 4 and 3 together and figured out that I am transgender. That'll wreck your pronouns in a hurry.
I wanted to avoid the whole hog rush into changing genders that so many people experience, and make sure that each step made sense for us. Part of that was trying to figure out what pronouns to use. I wanted to get it right. So, I initially decided to think on it, not make a quick change, and continued using male pronouns.
As it became increasingly clear that I was not a cisgender male, I switched to using they/them/their as my pronouns. This caused some issues for my wife because without intending to, she would switch back and forth from he/him/his to they/them/their in conversations. I felt bad for her because she was trying hard, but errors were so easy to make.
This continued while I explored whether a more accurate situation for me was non-binary, or female. Honestly, non-binary would likely have been more simple for me, since I had a male body. As time continued, I stayed in that niche for several months but was increasingly thinking I was actually female. One day, in conversation, I mentioned something about being non-binary and my wife laughed and said "Why don't you just admit it?"
"Admit what?" I asked.
"Please," she retorted. "You're more girly girl than I am!"
She was right. I am.
Later that same day, talking with our therapist, I told her that I wasn't non-binary, but actually female. She laughed, and said, "I was wondering when you'd decide that. It's pretty obvious"
We used they/them/their for another few weeks but then began phasing in she/her/hers. This accelerated to the point where we began using it more publicly when we filed for my name change.
Now my wife is comfortable referring to me as she/her, and I have coworkers who have never known me as anything other than she. People still slip sometimes, but that's normal, and they're getting better all the time.
I took my time, figured out what felt right, and then went for it. That was the right approach, for me.
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